Swimming pool

Hot,hot and more hot.Really unsufferable.If we would have a swimming pool...*dreaming face* Back to reality...

Books i read recently/reading right now/i will read:

-The other Boleyn Girl

-a book a rented from my sister~ from hungarian writer, the title is The Saint Johanna Highschool it seems to be a really good book,about teenagers and their daily problems mixed with humor,love. There is a second part also i will read that as well.

-Evening ~ I saw the film,so i am interested in the book too,i'm reading it together with the previous book mentioned above

-Picninc at Hanging Rock~ I tried to order it in English,but they wrote me email that it's impossible to get it.But fortunately a nice guy offered me that he scans his book and he will send it to me in e-book.That will take some weeks,but i can wait.

-The Shining~ I really want to read it,but the library just closed so i have to wait til it opens again in the end of August *angry sigh*

-Lady Elizabeth~ Another book which takes time in the 1500's,like The other Boleyn Girl.I will read it soon.

We are stucked to Gilmore Girsl with my sister right now and we are watching 2 parts every night and we laugh a lot.This series is one of my favs.

Hot hot and more hot...If we would have a swimming pool *back to dreaming*

The Tsarina's daughter

So what happened since i wrote in my blog last time?Well i had my graduation.Yes,exactly like in the american movies in that long clothes and hat which always wanted to slip from my head.But as i saw around me it was not only my problem,because everybody tried to fix on their heads.Anyway it was real fun and also fantastic,now i have a filmtheory and filmhistory diploma,but nobody would give me a work with this...So what else i can do,just continue my studies in the next 2 and a half years.

And what am i doing in my sparetime?Actually every min is sparetime now which i really love.

I can read the books i really want to.Right now i am reading one by Carolly Erickson,and the title is The Tsarina's daughther.This time it's not about Anastasia,but about her sister,Tatjana Romanov.I can't help i like these kind of stories from the tsar era.Maybe because i have something common with Anastasia,we borned on the same day...Just different year of course.

And i took a lot of other books from library,mostly by José Saramago,because i loved his book,the Blindness.He is such a great writer,his books are utopistic,mostly in a negativ way.But still,i can imagine all what he wrote down,like it would be real.And i read another great novel by the american writer Jodi Picoult,her book is titled Handle with care.Awsome story,sad and so true...

I'm also learning french,i refresh my memories from highschool.It would be good to speak it fluently n'est-ce pas?

And i started to write articles for an online cultural newspaper.My first one,about the Robert Capa exhibition is already published,and it's so great feeling to see my writing and my name under it.Today i wrote a review about the film The rebound.

I'm enjoying the sunshine and admiring my new purple orchid which i got for my graduation from my grandmother.This flower is wonderful.

I' m posting here my new favourite song, Sogno by Gianna Nannini.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKz0D-WbVP8&feature=related

Oh and i almost forgot to mention.I ordered the book Picninc at Hanging Rock,i can hardly wait to read it.

"... but waiting. I think it's too poor a word for it. I am engaged with the substance of the minutes as they pass."

-Affinity-

Picnic at Hanging Rock

"What we see and what we seem are but a dream...a dream within a dream."

On Saturday 14th February 1900 a party of schoolgirls from Appleyard College picniced at Hanging Rock near Mt. Macedon in the state of Victoria. During the afternoon several members of the party disappeared without trace.

This film truly enchanted me like a dream. Like i would be in a different world. Like i would be at Hanging Rock too in the hot summer midday and i would like to solve the mystery. What happened here?On on the rock. Like the place would be magnetic and those, who can feel it,they can't resist. They are becoming one with the rock. No one knows what happened,not even the one who returned in safe by chance.

The music is so beautiful, fitting with the pictures of nature, it's wonderful, amazing and terrifying in the same time.

I watched i twice already and i wish to read the book by Joan Lindsay.Of course it didn't release in Hungary. I have to get it from Amazon i guess.

A search for the missing schoolgirls and their governess continued spasmodically for the next few years without success. To this day their disappearence reamins a mystery.

The trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08e9QqQP7sY

"Meet me love when day is ending.

I love thee for thy highborn grace,

thy deep and lustrous eyes,

for the sweet meaning of thy brow

and for thy bearing so high

I love thee not because thou art fair,

softer than down, smoother than air,

not for the cupids that do lie

in either corner of thine eye.

Wouldst thou then know what it might be?

'Tis i love thee 'cause thou lovest me."

The Painted Veil

I have just started to read The Painted Veil by William Somerset Maugham,it's a wonderful book. I saw the film too,so i am curious to make a comparation after i finished the book. I wrote a short story inspirated by the film. Here you go...

I guess i loved you – The painted veil

The thick morning mist was slowly dispersing, and the silhouette of the village started to become visible. The village was really only the silhouette of it’s own. It will wear the stamp of the cholera for a long time, just like those, who stayed alive. And Kitty will keep in heart those few monthes, which she spent at the edge of death. But still…it seemed for her, that she lived for the first time in her whole life.

She took a clean, white paper from her desk, a „tabula rasa”. And she was ready to write it down. Write down all, what she thought. What existed only in her mind. Those thoughts, which never really borned, which were not alive yet . She took her pen and started to write. She wrote vigorously, without stopping, like the words have been only waiting for this moment since a long time…to break out…

„I think I have to write. Not for the reason, to take it years later and it read it again like a diary, but to clear my mind. If only this is possible. It’s hard to draw up the sentences, maybe impossible. And now, when I write this down it seems to be ridicolous. What should I write about the things what happen with me day by day, what happen inside me, and which want to break out in any second. But I can’t let that. I can’t. I know, You wouldn’t want to see me like this. The question is, how long I can stand? Where is the limit which I cross and I feel like i’m going crazy. I can’t cry anymore, I don’t have more tears and anyway it doesn’t help on my soul.

Until now I have always thought in a bitter and ironic way, that if amour wouldn’t make a rhyme with toujours we would never have the idea to connect love and eternity. But now i’m here without You, and even a second seems to be the eternity. I have never thought that my soul will be able to find peace, and surely not next to You. Maybe it’s not exaggeration when I say, that I didn’t feel anything more than a tiny sympathy for You when we got married. So why I married You? Because I wanted to escape from the choking atmosphere of my parent’s house.

When You and I came here, I thought that the worst what can happen with me that I die. I survived and You didn’t…now I know that nothing more visious could happen with me, with us. Two hearts, two souls seperated, not long after they found peace in the mirror of the other. A future collapsed, which we just started to plan. Now i have to face with Your missing. Before we came here, to China, You always wanted to be with me, and I wished you wouldn’t. From now I live alone and love alone, and I scream that I don’t want it to be like this. But my scream disappears in the mist between the walls of this ghost city, like it would be only a whisper. In this place the value of the things are changing, and we learn to respect the joyful moments because there are just a few of them. And I can feel, that it will be even less now but I have to keep continue the way which is signed for me. I stand up and step forward. This child i carry under my heart conceived in the death and it will born in a new life. So today I touch Your microscope for the last time. I won’t take it out every day and let the veil of the past to cover my soul. This is a painted veil, full with emotions, tears and laughs, desire and despise. You and I painted it, this is the veil of our past which doesn’t have place in the future. As long as I am alive I won’t forget this veil, which i wear today for the last time as the sign of widowhood. I will pray for You every night, and I hope that You hear me before I fall asleep and whisper to Your ear: I guess I loved You…”

Kitty put down the pen and stared into space silently. She felt that her worried soul calmed down by the words she wrote down. She never wrote with passion like this. She knew that all she wrote it’s true. Her ship will leave tomorrow to London. She decided to go to the cemetery for the last time, to leave the painted veil on the grave…

Mrs. Dalloway

Mrs. Dalloway

She's always giving parties to cover the silence...

Why is she afraid of silence?She wants to hide from her past?She doesn't want it to come from the deep of her soul and rule the present?

Mrs. Dalloway is planning to give a party. She wakes up in the morning and goes to buy flowers. The wonderful colour of flowers are already make her room vivant but she wants more.Flowers everywhere. Especially for tonight,for her party. She walks on the streets of London. This might be the perfect day, just one day and her whole life is in it. The air, the lights, the fragrants are all included in this day.On her way to the florist everybody has a nice word to her,just as she has a nice word too for everybody. Mrs. Dalloway is admirable. She is the perfect hostess of the perfect party. She looks confident, so everybody thinks she is fine. But she isn't.

From the window of the florist her eyes meet with a young man's through the glasses. She doesn't know why, but his face makes big impression on her. His expression is mixed with fear and courage, sadness and wondering. It was just a second while their glances met, but it brought something what she can't erase from her mind.

As she arrives home she has to plan everything detailed: the food, the music, the sitting order. She invited everybody who counts.

But an uninvited shadow from her past is showing up, in a totally unexpected way. She opens the door and Peter Walsh is standing in front of her. He could be her husband. But he is not. This fact is light as a thunder in her mind. She didn't think she can remember so clearly again. All the days they spent together, Peter, Sally and her, Clarissa. It's all here now, many many years later. And she has to face now with the shadows of her past. They could be together now, Peter and Clarissa. But Clarissa is Mrs. Dalloway now and not Mrs. Walsh. She was not brave enough to be. Peter wanted so much from her, he wanted to own her. Because he loved her. And Clarissa chose another man, who let her breath, but with who she was not in love. They are having a good life together, she can do what she wants, Richard Dalloway is rarely home because of his business. With Peter she would have more dangerous life, with quarrels and fights, hate and passion. But she was not brave enough to choose that way. And now in this second these all run through her mind before she says to Peter: - "It's heavenly to see you again!"

But she rather feels like in hell. She doesn't know what to say, how to say it,she doesn't know how to look in his eyes. So they are sitting on the sofa, and after the polite "How are you?" and "What are you doing nowadays?" they don't know anymore what to say to each other. So Peter stands up and ready to leave.

-"I'm giving a party tonight, i would like you to come." - says Clarissa.

Peter doesn't answer, but Clarissa feels he will come.

And he really does. Clarissa wears a really elegant green dress, she is the perfect hostess tonight. She is walking between the guests and she thinks that everybody has a great time. She looks to the entrance of the room and she see and so familiar face there, she hears her voice too, and now she doesn't have doubt anymore. This is Sally. Her Sally. Who kissed her once on a party like this and they promised to each other that they will never apart and they will change the world. Their ways finally didn't go to the same direction, but now she is standing in front of Clarissa, with the same sparkle in her eyes what she already had years ago. This all runs through on Clarissa's mind before she is saying in a surprised and happy voice: "Sally!"

All her past is here now in this room, living again coming to the the surface.

As Clarissa passes by some guests she hears what are they talking about. A young man killed himself this afternoon when his doctor wanted to check him and probably send him to an insitute where they take care of him in a way he needs.

Clarissa feels, she knows that it was the young man who she saw in the morning. He had the fear of the life in his eyes and the courage to die.

"Is it so easy to disappear?- Mrs. Dalloway asked herself. Can a life just disappear like that in the deep? Who will remember for him?"

Mrs. Dalloway will, she knows it for sure, and now she has to go and continue her party to cover the silence...

Orchids

I have just read my friend, Eva's new blog entry, and this is so cool, i am sitting on the terace all day too, just like she, on the balcony. I guess we both enjoy the warm sunny days after the rain. Same enjoy, in different countries(but not too far from each other).

I am trying to concenrate on the cognitiv film theory with more and less success. I just fed my cat, and im gonna play with her cute baby cats later. Probably after running. Yes i am still doing it, i don't count anymore the days, i just feel in my legs. But it's nice anyway to feel the result of it.

There are two big bowls of strawberry in front if me, gosh how i love it. Strawberry is the prettiest fruit in my eyes. As orchids are the sexiest flowers on the earth. There are so many kind of them, each has so unique form and colours. I read in a book that there were/are so obsessed colletors, who went to the jungle just to find a special type of orchid, even they died in the jungle because of their passion. There is a really amazing one called the ghost orchid. Maybe they are really just ghosts, because it's hard to find them(according to the book i read). From a point of view of course it seems to be madness but on the other hand it's really great to have such a passion. Well fortunately i don't have to go to jungles to watch a film.

I had orchids, two or three times,but it's so hard to take care of them, however i tried everything. But i think they don't like this dry Middle-European weather. But if i pass by a flowerist i always stop to take a look on the orchids,especially on the purple ones and i am longing to have one and keep it good. Maybe after all i should go to a jungle, or at least to a place where it's easier to keep them. But not til the exam...

The BBC series

It's a nice sunny day again,so i am sitting on the terace and right now writing in my blog. But before it i just finished the postmodern style in film history topic and scanned for my classmate. My cat visited me, she is keep saying "miau miau" but i don't think she is hungry,as a lot of people come and play with her baby cats and everybody takes food for her. Poor cat,when she doesn't have small cats nobody cares about her like this. Except me of course, she always gets some caress from me.

Yesterday i finished a BBC series, the Portrait of a marriage. It's a 4 part mini series and actually it's really amazing. I watched it online, but i could download as well, so i will take it for my friend Eva, i am sure she will love it too. It's about a love triangle, well at the end love square ( i wanted to express that there are 4 people involved) and it's based on a true story. I post the cover of it on the left side. I think i am stucked to BBS series, i just can't get bored of them. I recently bought Bleak House however i saw it already two times in the TV but i need to have it with the pretty Gillian Anderson on the cover. And i am still longing for another series, The secret diaries of Miss Anne Lister.

Today i got my book what i ordered last week, it's needed for the final exam, it's about the European art films from 1950 til 1980. It's really useful that i have it finally.

And i am waiting impatiently for another book i ordered about a week ago. The title is Affinity, and i have to read it because i saw the film and it was just gorgeous. I ordered it from Amazon through a Hungarian site,so i am really excited when i will get it.

Okay now back to the history of photo film and digital media topic. And of course in the evening another great film is in the plans.

Secret diaries of...

Today nothing interesting happened,we had guests,relatives in the afternoon,well not for too long time.They took their small baby,he was born in April and he is totally a cute boy. I really like him.

And i went on studying fenomenologie,but i can't read from that too much,because it's too boring and makes me tired fast. So then i changed to another subject, important questions of film history.This is a much better one.

And i discovered a film,i must see but i haven't find it on any torrent yet. The title is The secret diaries of Anne Lister. I want this movie right now. I'm sure it's great as long as i have never been disappointed in BBC series. And i really like this actress, who is on the picture today, she played in the film Affinity too,which became my favourite as well, her name is Anna Madeley.

As it didn't rain today,we went to run with my sister and then of course we played with our small cats who are getting bigger every day and they can eat a lot.

Today this song stucked in my mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUiOgcuD_x0

I'm gonna choose a film for tonight...

Soleil

Today's mood: Much better, as it's finally a sunny, warm day,however the wind is still blowing, but i should be grateful that it's not raining finally.Hopefully it will stay like this.

Book i am reading right now (beside the film history books): The shadow in the North byPhilipp Pullman -The second part of a series. The story takes place in 1878, i really like the atmosphere of these stories, i can really feel how they lived in that time with all it's beauty and horrible things. It's about a young girl full with ambitions, and she always gets involved in a dangerous and interesting mystery. I can't help, i love these adventure stories.

But there is also waiting for me a Maugham book, the Painted veil. Can't wait to read that also.

Today's song : Nothing sweet about me by Gabriella Cilmi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvuyYj5ROmk&feature=fvst

Today's occupations: -keep on studying avantgarde film history

-cleaning

-i hope i will have time to watch a film in the afternoon before the guests come

Where i would like to be: Under the Tuscan sun

In the still of the night

Isn't it nice to sit in the dark,when everybody's sleeping but you. It's quiet and peaceful. I like to think like this especially after a film i saw. It's just stuck in my mind,the whole atmosphere of a film,the end of it,the last seconds and the music during the stablist. It's so wonderful how a film can make an effect on you, occupate your mind seconds,days,weeks after you watched it. And i'm going to sleep with the last thought of it.

Why i made a blog?

Why i made a blog?Actually because i wanted to write a comment for my friend Eva,on her much better blog than mine ever will be,because she is a writer,officialy!I'm just a writer for myself.

But if i am here, i post a pic of a film i saw today with Isabelle Huppert.The title is The inheritance,and it was directed by a great hungarian director(woman)Márta Mészáros.So the actresses and actors are great,and the storyline too.An interesting love triangle between two women and a man.The historical background is the II.World War,so that makes the life of the three of them harder.

I wanted to go to run with my sister,but it just seems it will be raining again,so maybe we will skip that.

An finally i will try now to write a comment for Eva. And then back to my studies,i am just stucked at the avantgarde film history. And it's raining again...it didn't rain enough yet...